In Control? We are Each a Constant Work in Progress
In my last Bulletin article, I mentioned the summer is a wonderful time for reflection and getting to know others through stories. Well, I have done quite a bit of unintentional reflection, and the person I have been asking questions to get to know a bit better turns out to be myself. My social media is pretty simple, but I do often like things that have a more Eastern philosophical message. Recently a content creator snuck into my TikTok and Insta viewing. He speaks about the Stoics. I have not read any of the Stoics since I was in my undergrad, but the Stoics are a collective of ancient philosophers who wrote a lot on their ideas of the self
and society.
Something about the words of the Stoics was hitting my brain and making me think a lot about my own struggles with the potential for burn out, frustrations with current events in my work and in the world, and my own sense of self and aging. Deep, huh? I can tell you that once you start looking more into any type of philosophy or way of thinking it can really mess with the algorithms of your Kindle and social media. I think I have confused them! I have been fond of the teachings of Buddha and the writing of Deepak Chopra for a while, and the Stoics have also tapped into the ideas I like in Eastern philosophy. Both ask us to consider ourselves and how we move through the world. Both challenge a person to improve themselves to then improve their communities.
“Man exists for the sake of one another.”
— Marcus Aurelius. (I always take the idea of man being human).
“We are what we think. All that we arearises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”
— Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha)
So, what does this have to do with our work? First, it challenges me to return to an idea shared repeatedly. What is within my control? Marcus Aurelius said: “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” I struggle with this all the time. I worry about this or that and very little of it is within my control and/or influence. And then it spins and spins in my mind or in my work and therein lies the path to burnout. And second, it challenges me to consider how I respond to external concerns outside of myself. How I respond to things out of my control is the only thing within my control.
Sounds easy, right? Not really. Like most things it takes practice. Something I am not good at. Many years ago, I started reading “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by Deepak Chopra, a book I found very enlightening but also particularly challenging. To be honest, even though I read the book (some of it more than once), I could not get beyond the first law to my success. Mainly because the first law of pure potentiality asks us to not judge. In the work to better know yourself, the path to pure potentiality asks us not to judge. I can barely get out of my house in the morning without judgment, let alone life. But it takes practice, and each day is another opportunity to practice. Buddha said, “Do not seek perfection in a changing world, instead perfect your love.” As I have said before, I am a constant work in progress.
A few things I have learned from this book and other readings, like the Stoics, that I try to practice and remind myself of on the daily are the following:
- Breathe. Take time to take deep breaths to calm your mind and heart. Sit in silence. This is not an easy one for me.
- Silence. Meditation, prayer, whatever you call it or choose to practice. The practice of silencing your mind to allow calm will help support creativity, better sleep, better body function, and much more.
- Change your environment when you need to reconnect. Taking a walk and being in nature can help you be in silence and calm your thoughts to those within your control.
- Try not to judge. I try not to judge myself or others. It is almost impossible for me to know another’s whole story or background and the act of judgment is adding to my stress. I repeat: This one is tough because we constantly want to understand and know the why.
None of this is a cure all or total fix to frustrations, burnout, or stress. And these thoughts do not even skim the surface of these philosophies or ways of thinking and being. But they are reminders of tools I have at my disposable to help with frustrations, burnout, and stress. I often joke we are control “freaks” in our work. And maybe that is true, but maybe I should re-evaluate what is really within my control and focus on that and examine how I respond to matters beyond my control. The last article I wrote was about a few lessons from a recent trip. This article was a real trip learning some things about myself.
